Sunday, December 14, 2014

On not having children

It is almost Christmas, and not having children, I am apparently supposed to feel very bad indeed. My Christmas should be a miserable affair. The terrible longing I should have felt at my lack of offspring should be magnified by the Christmas lights and mall Santas that appeared weeks ago. 

Well, we chose not to have children for very sensible medical reasons, and I make no apologies for that. It seems that many childless women have had years of dealing with comments and questions about when they are going to start producing. Potential grandparents dropping hints at every opportunity. I, on the other hand, have only ever had one friend insist that I would change my mind about having no children, and would be a "wonderful mother." Our family has never put any pressure on us to have babies, in spite of the gorgeous wee grandchildren my siblings have created. 

Of course there are many women who long for a child that never comes, and I feel fortunate that I have never been at that point in life. I think my doubts about having children started relatively early, when I found out how they came out. I still have doubts about that! 

When I found out there is a massive online community called Gateway Women for childless women, I should have been less surprised. I have come to the realisation that life without children is pretty awesome, and a lot better for my health. Except maybe for all of the candycanes I don't have to share.

So I'm not going to feel bad about my lack of children, and enjoy my sparkly Christmas lights, sing Christmas carols very loudly, work out how to turn Zanny into a reindeer, and hope the cherry season is a good one. And I can get up whenever I'm ready on Christmas morning. 
It's going to be a lot of fun! 

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