Thursday, December 13, 2007

Tough Day

What a day! In my infinite wisdom I decided to have a roast dinner at school, with all of the trimmings. What I underestimated was the enormous stress and effort that would result. Thank goodness the students all enjoyed it. As you can see it was pavlova for pudding. That went down so well I had one student prancing around the room grinning and flapping his hands for about 20 minutes when he had finished his serve. I won't show you the first course because we only took photos of the food chopped into easy to eat bite-sized pieces. In case you have forgotten, my students have severe intellectual disabilities. By the way, fortunately I decided a shop bought pav was the sensible solution to my limited energy and time. Note the perfect roundness. Actually it was pretty good!
I'm not really sure if I am writing to myself, having NO comments. I guess I could put a counter on to see if there are any lurkers out there, but why worry. Actually I do have some news on the anxiety disorder front. I decided (possibly rashly) that after about 6 years on paroxetine to control my still rampant anxiety disorder, it was time to see if going it alone was worse than being drugged to the gunnals constantly. So I am detoxing. The intense headache lasted several days. The crazy dreams are rather exciting. Today I've got the waves of nausea, sudden rushes to the toilet, and weird kind of sudden head feelings. Having read up on all of this I am quite typical. The head feelings are described by some people as electric shocks. I would call them tiny faints. I'm taking a day off school tomorrow because I'm exhausted and am not sure what is in store for me next. I do feel happy and positive though. A bit scared that I will cave in and be back to square one. Apparently paroxetine does not meet the definition for an addictive drug. Something to so with rats not wanting to keep chomping the stuff. The problem with it is that the withdrawal mimics the anxiety disorder, so all of the hard fought wellness feels like it has been taken away. People love to bring out the "you need the drug like diabetics need insulin" argument. Maybe that is because people can't resist killing themselves when they are going off the drug. Sorry to be a bit morbid, but I am utterly sick of being at the mercy of drugs, and would never have started on it if I hadn't been persuaded (despite my concerns about sideeffects and addiction). Mind you, without the drug I wasn't well at all. So wish me luck! Tomorrow I've got a hard day of sewing planned, if I can be bothered getting up. I might even show you some Christmas treasures. Lots of love, my phantom readers XXX
Ps. If blogger cuts off the side of some of my post I am not going to smash my computer, but I may be a tad infuriated. You are all clever enough to work out the missing bits, I'm sure!


Rubytwoshoes said...

YUm...the pav looks great. Wish I had one to eat right now!!
Good luck with the Detox...I think it is an irresponsible GP who keeps someone on Aropax so long (jut my 2 cents worth!!).Can't wait for Christmas fun!!
Love you heaps,xx

Anonymous said...

That pavlova looks wonderful! We had raspberries and cream for tea and they seemed pretty decadent and delicious. You are brave going cold turkey with the drugs. I will be interested to see how you go. Don't know if I could cope with the current situation without a prop! Glad to hear that we are all going to the carol singing, especially Mr Black. I'm sure he has a good voice. Pinsey is home today, she is a bit restless tonight and Henry is hissing at her. Love you and thinking about you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx